End of August---ups & downs

Lots going on to try and wrap my head around...good news first:  My oldest daughter entered 5th grade today.  She is excited and happy about the new school year.  With a 10 year old girl, happy is always good.  (unhappy=not good!)  I am so proud of the beautiful girl that she is, both on the inside and the outside.  She is kind, caring, tender-hearted, stubborn, loving, protective, curious, pushes the limits.  I simply adore her.  She is all the best...and worst, parts of me.  :)

My youngest daughter is entering kindergarten in 2 short days.  She is so ready and has been counting down the days all summer since preschool ended.  Where have the last 5 years gone?  Such a blur of laughter, smiles, giggles, tears, tantrums, diapers, potty-training, books, dolls, dress-up...I miss my baby, but love my kindergartener, too.  She is so amazing, so smart & soooooo sassy!!!  :)

Image by Rakka via Flickr

ed. 
On top of their excitement, today was my first day of school with students.  Just for the morning but enough to wear me out!  Beginning my 17th year of teaching, that is even more hard to believe than the baby going to kindergarten.  I feel like I've been teaching for maybe 10-11 years, not 16 under my belt.  I loved greeting my new (and returning) students last night at open house and this morning.   A new class, sharpened pencils, curiousity, new boxes of crayons, new shoes  & haircuts, backpacks & lunchboxes is exciting!!  It energizes me and makes me hopeful for all that is to come this school year.  And maybe even some birthday cupcakes... :)

Image by clevercupcakes via Flickr

So with all that is good, there is of course, the bad...I am REALLY struggling with other people letting me down.  Especially people that I bend over backwards for, count on, and stay loyal to.  Big bummer.  Hugely disappointed.  Really feeling unheard, unappreciated, taken for granted.  Not the first time.  So tired of the crap.  Don't see any signs of change or hope.   Especially when it's people that are "supposed to" be there for you no matter what.  Not fair, not right, whatever. 

Regret is an awful thing and I think I made the wrong decision.  Yuck....God help me forgive and get over it.  But how many times do you have to forgive?  I know, I know---70 x 7, on & on & on.  It is sooo not easy.